Dinner at Chris's. Or; How Decepticons invented Chinese food.

Well The Boyfriend comes over to kidnap me today because his mom is making homemade Chinese food (No, they're not actually Asian) and once we escape Brother Is At Ollett Central Madness, we make it to his house in one piece. I scoop out a decent portion of chicken and deliciousness and put it on my plate.
What followed went a little like this...
MUSHROOMS! YES!
*Stab with fork*
OMNNOMNOMNOM...nomnomnom?.....
What the hellassballs?
Oh.
It's a peanut.
*munch munch munch*

And repeat a half a dozen times until I finally catch on and stop getting excited.

Know where else I do this?

Any Chinese food with water chestnuts.
Hello fried rice and veggies!
OMG POTATO BITS!
NOMNOM-NO.
Not at all.
Not even a little bit.

But in no other food would I readily confuse peanuts with mushrooms or water chestnuts with potatoes. THUS, the conclusion has been drawn.

Chinese food was invented by Decepticons.
True story, folks.

At least there's still good guys out there. I love you, Snoballimus Prime. <3